Recently, while briefly sharing my heart with a friend over coffee, I explained it in the form of a word picture. I related my current "season" of life to balancing out all of the teeter-totters in my life. Sometimes I feel like "I" am trying to balance all of the different teeter-totters in my life. Here's just a few of them. Motherhood. Wife. Friend. Employee. College student. Church. Social life. House responsibilities. Kid's activities. Projects. The list goes on and on..
Sometimes I feel like I'm just living my life hopping from one teeter-totter to the next (with a big coffee mug always in my grip). My girls need some extra time with me - so I jump on that TT to get it balance. And then my husband is needing a little extra attention so I jump over to that TT. I need to do homework for awhile - so I jump on over to that one. Then there's the social life (well...there's supposed to be one...right?) so I jump on over to that TT so I can feel "secure" for a little awhile longer. Hmmm.. back to my kids again - I've been too busy on the rest. Oh - but I really need to pay the bills now - so on over to that TT I go. I'm tired now, but I have to check on laundry and dishes and get it in balanced so the House TT isn't aimed straight towards the pavement (that one would have a chain reaction for sure). Oh yeah - there's something at church tonight that I am excited to do so I'll just hop over to that TT for awhile and get that project prepared. Hmmm.. I think I just heard my husband grumbling under his breath that I've been too busy for him so I'd better hop over to that TT and get it back in balance. Oops - I forgot - I haven't spent any time with God lately or done any devotions or even looked at my latest Bible study book (wait... I haven't done a ladies Bible study for awhile..). Get the picture? Do you ever feel like you are so busy balancing out everything in your life that you completely ignore the MAIN TT - your SELF? Why is it that the biggest, sturdiest, safest, and TT of them all seems non-existent? It would sound logical to say that if the MAIN (self) TT is in balance then the rest of them would be too? Why is it easier to wear ourselves out trying to balance all of the other TT's when the MAIN TT sits vacant - or non-existent. Like only something that is a blur in the distance?
Teeter-totters have been off of school playgrounds for quite some time now - I endured my share of pain - as well as inflicting pain on others ( my friends nonetheless ). Of course this pain wasn't intentional - just accidental - but it happened. One of my childhood memories (I'm guessing 1st or 2nd grade) I remember "bouncing" my best friend clean off of the teeter totter onto the asphalt. I still remember how bad I felt - even though it was just an accident. Just as the teeter-totters have been (or should be) removed from school playgrounds and parks - I need to re-evaluate which teeter totters need just be removed from my life. Discarded. Removed. Eliminated. Maybe I wouldn't be so tired if I had fewer ones to try to balance? Obviously there are some TT's that are permanently sunk in the playground and should NOT be removed (God, marriage, family...)
You know what's amazing amongst all of those TT's - the TT that is waiting to be balanced out more than anything - is the one that needs to be balanced out with me & God. You see - He's waiting for me to stop hopping from TT to TT and just sit - BE STILL - with Him. With God,
"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" Phillipians 4:13
I think my "self with God TT" should be equipped with a strap to hold me there - and a safety harness when I start to fall.
But I do it the hard way - the exhausting way - the way that leaves me drained, exhausted, and not even excited to jump to the next one (even if it just needs a teeny tiny adjustment). I didn't forget about the exercise TT - there really isn't one ;-)
God, please help me to just rest in You, give me the strength I need to balance everything in my life in a way that is pleasing to You. Amen.
